THE 2025 COMPETITION
WINNER
To: The Director of Magic Mike Live
Dear Mike,
From a young age I have had a great aversion to magic shows – I have never approved of cheap card tricks or fraudulent wand-waving.
Regrettably, I had the misfortune of attending one of your shows last week with my friend, Agnes.
Already on edge about being subjected to 90 minutes of conjuring tricks, you can only imagine my abhorrence when I realised we had been hoodwinked into watching an utterly inappropriate, ludicrously expensive and not-at-all magical strip show!! Shameful!
What if my innocent little niece had been watching?
Furthermore, though it pains me to parrot the youth of today, I am appalled at your use of (I believe the term is) ‘non-consensual’ hypnosis on the audience – for this is the only explanation I can come up with for why I downed three martinis, threw my drawers onto the stage halfway through the show, and was escorted out of the venue by those rather racy ruffians.
I feel particularly insulted that, considering it was my birthday, I was not selected for any ‘audience-participation-numbers’.
Next time, I hope you stick to pulling white rabbits out of hats.
Yours faithfully,
