I regret to inform you that you have grossly neglected your duties as Mayor by allowing the good name of this town to fall into disrepute.
During my recent tea-time dog walks, I have been quite appalled by the attire of the local youths. The summer weather has attracted an unsightly display of flesh that serves to make one blush profusely. The abundance of skimpy shorts, bottom-brushing skirts and obscene ‘crop-tops’ transforms the park from a place of tranquillity and natural splendour into a seeming replica of – and I abhor to use this term – a bordello!
After much deliberation, the Sewing Society and I have agreed that it foully flouts convention to allow such unwholesome parades of clothing through our honest streets. Not only do these displays corrupt our society, but they debase the morality of the young. Surely we cannot allow these adolescent louts to cause yet more damage to common decency?
I suggest that you amend the law to prevent the poor taste of these delinquents from causing further offense to our community.